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Backstage with Baldy

Camden – May 18th

We had ourselves a minor Spinal Tap moment in Camden, and I was right in the middle of it.

I was hovering over on the stage right area during the early portion of the show, right next to William & Mike’s techs.

A couple of songs into the set, William came over to exchange guitars with his tech, and he also decided to take off his leather jacket, since it was fairly warm outside at the Susquehanna Bank Center.

His tech had a guitar in each hand, and I could see that William was trying to take off his jacket, so I popped over to grab it from him.

That’s when the fun began, as he was clearly struggling to get it off. He had it down off of his shoulders, but the sleeves weren’t budging, so I grabbed a sleeve and started pulling.

And it wouldn’t move.

This all took place in a matter of a few seconds, but that’s all you really have between songs, so he said “never mind”, and grabbed his guitar and went back out onstage.

The band played another song, William sweated some more and got hotter, and the jacket became more of a burden.

I knew he’d be coming over again, and I was ready this time. As soon as he handed his tech the guitar, I was on him like a one man NASCAR pit crew.

I grabbed his sleeve in one hand and started yanking, but again it wouldn’t move.

I doubled down, yanking with both hands, still to no avail.

He doesn’t usually wear this particular jacket onstage, and I can see why now. This stupid thing was spot-welded to his arms and wasn’t going anywhere.

I was yanking on the sleeve from the bottom, William was clawing at it from the top, and then his tech decided to literally shine some light on the matter, and lit up the proceedings with his flashlight.

It’s not like we were directly out on the stage, but we weren’t entirely hidden over on the side either, so I’m sure anyone paying attention could see what was going on, especially with the flashlight illuminating the whole fiasco.

Cue the circus music, as I’m yanking, William is tugging, his tech is lighting it up, and the clock is ticking.

Meanwhile we’re making absolutely no progress.

The second chapter of this fiasco only lasted about 20 seconds, but that can seem like a long time when 19,000 people are waiting to hear We Die Young.

I’m sure a lot of you out there would clamor for the opportunity to disrobe William in 20 seconds, but I have to tell you, I wilted under the pressure and failed.

So all in all I don’t think it was really that big of a debacle, but it probably did look a little bit like a Three Stooges skit if you happened to have witnessed it.

Of course all’s well that ends well, so after bringing in a gallon of cooking oil and the jaws of life to the dressing room after the show, William was extracted from his fashionable leather prison, and Moe, Larry, & Curly moved on to our next adventure.

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