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Backstage with Baldy

London – November 9th

Once again trauma has re-entered my life, both physically and psychologically.

In a lot of ways, London is like an L.A. or New York show in regards to guests and label people and business associates showing up and needing to be taken care of.
That’s no big deal, but I just wanted to mention it to put the day in context.
We knew it would be busy from the start, and I was running around the venue all day long.
We’d been on site for a few hours, then our trusty tour manager Chuck and I went back to the hotel to pick up the band, and that’s when the day took a turn.

Trauma #1
I was coming back to the elevator from Jerry’s room when the doors opened and Sean was already in it.
The elevators in this particular hotel are quite small, probably about big enough to fit four people, so it wasn’t a big deal to jump in there with Sean.
However, he decided to immediately back up against me and force me into the corner, then he applied more pressure and really started to squish me.
No big deal. I can take a good squishing, and it wasn’t like it hurt or anything, but then he ramped it up.
Much like any alpha male dog would do, Sean felt the need to assert his dominance the only way he knows how; he began to hump me.
Unfortunately, this is nothing new for me.
It just happened to be the first time I’ve been power humped by Sean in the elevator of a five star hotel.
I then made the rookie mistake of pointing out that there was a camera in the elevator, thinking that would get him to stop, but he just ramped it up another notch and really laid into me.
Thankfully it was a quick ride (figuratively & literally), but the trauma had been inflicted, and for about the 20th time in my life, I’d been humped into submission by Sean.

Trauma # 2
Since I have the good fortune of writing the official Alice In Chains tour blog, I like to think of myself as the protagonist.
Every protagonist needs a proper nemesis, and I was re-introduced to mine after the show in London last night.
The name of that nemesis?
European Tour Bus.

For those of you who have read the blog for a while, you might remember that there was an ongoing battle between my head and the tour bus back in 2009 & 2010.
It got so bad that the band actually bought me a bicycle helmet and then bet on how often I’d hit my head on the European run in 2010 (the number was in the 20s).
Long story short, I was loading luggage in the bay last night and smashed my melon just like I’d done so many times in the past.
We’ve been touring the Americas for the better part of the last six months and the head to bus ratio has been virtually nonexistent, yet the second we get to the UK the head injuries begin all over.
There was no blood involved this time at least, and the pain subsided after a few minutes, so all in all I guess it wasn’t that bad.

Fortunately those two traumas didn’t define the day, and the show was amazing and the fans were great.

We have another five shows to go on this brief UK run.
If I can make it through without being humped by a dude or head-butting a bus again I’ll be happy, but I wouldn’t bet against it…

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