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Backstage with Baldy

Scranton – August 9th

I don’t know how the Uproar Festival started for everyone else, but for me?…
Naked Duff McKagan.
Yep, I arrived on site for show #1, dropped my stuff in the production office, went to Alice In Chains’ dressing room, opened the door, and shazam, there stood Duff, naked as a newborn.
Unbeknownst to me, he and a couple of his Walking Papers bandmates had been given the okay to use our dressing room to do some yoga and then shower up afterwards.
I’ve known Duff for quite a few years now, and I feel fortunate to be able to call him my friend. But here’s the thing; I don’t wanna see any of my friends in the nude.
If I had a nickel for every time I’ve seen an Alice In Chain butt cheek, I’d have $7.35, so if you do the math, that works out to waaaay too many butt cheeks.
This is why doors have locks. I’m not going in search of naked musicians, I just happen to open the wrong door at just the wrong time, and Blammo! – tattooed Cantrell flesh. Or Kinney canned ham. Or Duvall derriere. Whatever you want to call it, I’ve seen it. Again and again and again.
I really shouldn’t complain though. I’ll take a view of the back yard over the front porch any day of the week, if you know what I mean.

Life can be all about timing if you think about it.
How many times have you narrowly avoided something, whether it be good or bad, by just a few seconds?
If we’d hit just one more red light on the way to the gig yesterday, I’d have an entirely different blog subject.
Sometimes a few seconds here or there can change your whole life.
I don’t necessarily consider seeing Duff in his full glory to be life changing, but it did give me something to write about today.

So as the Uproar Festival moves along, I look forward to documenting the adventures we have along the way, but I hope this is the last time I have to mention anyone’s buttocks.

(By the way, for those of you wondering, yoga works. Duff looks great)

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