Haha you thought I was serious! Oh! I win! Stupid old people, you'll fall for anything.

Chuck- "I found them humorous." *massively kicks RoboBaldy in his RAM*

The butler came out with a gun. Turns out he was one of the Canadian Gangsters.

Canadian Gangster- *aims at Chuck Norris* "Lemme see your hands, mofo, ey! I'm gonna mess you up like a byotch!"
Chuck- *turns* "Are you talking to me?"
Canadian Gangster- "Shut up, dawg, ey!"
Chuck- *kicks gangster* "Nobody talks to Chuck Norris like that."
Canadian Gangster- "Ahh! I'm dead, ey!" *dies*
Me- "Thanks, Chuck!"
Chuck- "No problem. Do you really think I'd let Jerry Cantrell get killed by a robot or Canadian gangster?"
Me- "I don't know, I've never really thought about what you'd do in this situation before."
Chuck- "Well, I wouldn't." *disappears*

The town started cheering.

Jerry- *stands up* "Well, my idea worked."
Me- "You're kidding. You really expect me to believe that you planned on showing off to the town by fighting RoboBaldy in the air?"
Jerry- "And then finishing him off with Chuck Norris. Yeah. I said I had a plan, didn't I?"

Everyone came out of the castle.

Will- "I leave you guys alone for not even 5 minutes and you manage to kill RoboBaldy?"
Jerry- *flexes* "Yeah, I did it myself..."
Mayor- "I declareth thou and thy bearded friend heroes!"
Jerry- "That's not a very nice thing to say about Lauren."
Mike- "So Chuck did it?"
Jerry- *sighs* "Yeah, I got my ass kicked..."
Chuck- *voice* "If I were you guys, I'd grab his hard drive and beat it out of here. If a Canadian Gangster knew you were here, you're screwed."
Me- "Good idea." *unscrews head* "Oh, look, it'll fit in a USB port."
Chuck- "Get in your car, I'll throw you to your next location."

Not nearly as much suspense as I could have done. Now, you're like "Hmm, where are they going next after the primitive nation of Great Britain?" Not "Ahh! Oh no! What'll happen to Jerry?!"

thenegativecreep:

Blacksmith- "What dost thou wanteth?"
Jerry- *looks around* "Cool, a sword!" *looks at me* "I'm sure Will would want us to have them, with the butler and all."
Me- "Of course."
Jerry- "We'll need 4. But make sure mine is the longest."

lol.  who would have thought the robo guys could be so easily defeated.  let's just hope their real brains aren't in those RAM's, especially the big one lol.  he might try to establish a RAMtatorship in canada.

bionicanna:

thenegativecreep:

Blacksmith- "What dost thou wanteth?"
Jerry- *looks around* "Cool, a sword!" *looks at me* "I'm sure Will would want us to have them, with the butler and all."
Me- "Of course."
Jerry- "We'll need 4. But make sure mine is the longest."

lol.  who would have thought the robo guys could be so easily defeated.  let's just hope their real brains aren't in those RAM's, especially the big one lol.  he might try to establish a RAMtatorship in canada.

I'm really glad that Jerry has the longest sword.  Oh wait - wrong thread! 

BlondNBlues:

bionicanna:

thenegativecreep:

Blacksmith- "What dost thou wanteth?"
Jerry- *looks around* "Cool, a sword!" *looks at me* "I'm sure Will would want us to have them, with the butler and all."
Me- "Of course."
Jerry- "We'll need 4. But make sure mine is the longest."

lol.  who would have thought the robo guys could be so easily defeated.  let's just hope their real brains aren't in those RAM's, especially the big one lol.  he might try to establish a RAMtatorship in canada.

I'm really glad that Jerry has the longest sword.  Oh wait - wrong thread! 

 

What? You think I was talking about THAT? Wow, something's really wrong with you. I was just talking about his long sword. I liked the part where he was 'swinging it around' afterwards

Of course he has the longest sword! I saw it, remember?

LMAO! RAMtatorship? Wait, where did you think I was referring to? You're just as bad as BNB!

Today's is... Hmm... I didn't really have a lot of time, so it's sort of just setting up for whatever comes next. I'd kind of like some negative "Dude you totally suck at writing" comments at some point so I feel less patronized, and I'm sure this one'll get 'em-

Day 11 (Monday)

I woke up, and realized it was all a dream. Referring, of course, to how I turned into a GTA character and had to infiltrate the water temple to shoot my traitor friend with a squirtgun to appease the CSI executives who were filming me for no apparent reason, and I ended up playing Master of Puppets on bass at Ikea, where I got through the center of my grandparents' pool, and all these old people were thanking me for playing them elevator music to get them through shopping. Glad that didn't really happen. For those old ladies' sake, I mean, I'd really hate to have to start a fistfight with them over Metallica.

Nah, this, this is really happening. See, unlike all of you, I had a warped dream, so I just rolled over and put my arm around Jerry and fell back asleep. Oh, too bad for you jealous mortals sitting at home who don't get to hang out with the real Alice in Chains.

Now, I bet you're all wondering, "Hey, where are they?" Well, there's a cool story leading up to that. So Chuck throws us, you know the drill by now. Except, we disappear mid-flight.

GOLB- *slowly* "I will phrase my sentances backwards so you pathetic humans can understand me. I am displeased that you have turned to Chuck Norris for help."
Me- "Hey, we can't understand you, man. Sorry, but it just wasn't working out."
GOLB- "Silence! I have ended your journey here. You will not continue."
Jerry- "But what about the world? We have to save it!"
GOLB- "That world is no longer your concern. You are here now."
Me- "That sucks."

It was pretty much nothing. Like, just the car, which was a Ford Taurus or something on a similar level of lameness.

Me- "I can't stay here for all eternity."
Will- "Yeah. GOLB, is there any way we can make it up to you?"
GOLB- "Kill Chuck Norris and bring me his head."
Me- *laughing* "You seriously expect us, US, to be able to kill Chuck Norris?"
Dylan- "I'll kill GOLB for you!"
Me- "Oh, look, my pale scrawny friend Dylan from school. Look who finally got around to reading this. What are you doing here?"
GOLB- "This realm is where all pale scrawny kids go when they die."
Me- "Aw, that sucks, man. What happened?"
Dylan- "I always knew I'd get pushed down the stairs by an old lady."
Me- "Yeah, actually, I vaguely recall you telling me you would, today. That's funny."
Dylan- "Yeah. But if I kill GOLB I can be at school tomorrow, making all of this work out."
Me- "Oh, well then, kill away."
GOLB- "Ahh! No! Don't come at me with that broken yellow colored pencil! Nooooo!"
Me- "I knew some good would come from that."
GOLB- "Stop! Don't give me a fatal papercut with your bookmark that has been sharpened by countless times being ripped out of a book!"
Me- "Wow, and to think you got pissed at me when I did that. Little did you know it'd save your life."
Dylan- "Shut up, Lauren! I'll kill you too!"
Jerry- "Hey, stop it, kid, I'll kick your ass if you mess with Lauren."
Me- "Yeah, give it a rest, Quad-y. Your nickname's too long, you know?"
Dylan- "Ok, see you in study hall tomorrow."
Me- "Bye... Freak."

Yeah. Hope you read that, man haha.

*appear back in air*
Me- "So we're still going to wherever we were, right?"
Mike- "Yeah. Dude, what is that?"

A huge, sunny, beach area was coming up. There was no end to it. There were beach resort style buildings all around, and people lounging near the water.

Will- "This is strange. I've been mapping our coordinates with a GPS this whole time, to ensure our geography is dead on, you know, but it's saying that we're coming up on Antarctica."
Mike- "Remember where it said Vancouver was?"
Me- "No, this time it's right. Well, it was right last time, of course. But it's, um, double right. This is Antarctica. What the hell?"
Jerry- "Well, have you ever been there?"
Will- "Jerry's right. Maybe, the whole snow thing is just to keep people out. Everyone here is staying, I mean, they wouldn't want a bunch of tourists in, polluting the place, would they?"
Me- "So this is like a utopian society? And it has been all along?"
Will- "Yeah. When you think of it, we should have realized before."

*land*
Me- *looks at sun* "Um, let's run inside. Fast. I need some SPF 50 to get me through this."
Will- "I refuse to make fun of your paleness."
Mike- "Me too."
Jerry- "Yeah. Being creepily pale is hot."
Me- "Really."

Me- "Safe. Ah. Ok. Now we can find out what's going on."
Guest- "You're in Utoptica."
Will- "You renamed it?"
Guest- *laughs* "Oh, I didn't, the Leader did."
Me- "Damn it we landed in cultland! Chuck, what the hell, man!"
Guest- "Who are you talking to? There are no powerful beings here besides the Leader."
Jerry- "GOLB screwed us with the last of his power. So we're stuck?"
Guest- "Why would you want to leave? It's paradise here!"
Jerry- "Well, the sun. Creep takes pride in her paleness, and I'm not exactly tan myself. You know, being from Seattle and all."
Guest- "Well, start enjoying it now! Join the party! Go find an open room it's free!"
Me- "I'm in hell..."

Mike- "Well, it really could be a lot worse. I mean, we're on this hugeass island resort, that I'm sure would be way more expensive that we could hope to stay at for free, and no one's trying to kill us."
Will- "And there are people my age. I mean, I can't tell you how sick I am of hanging out with you loser teenagers."
Mike- "Yeah, I'm gonna run off and check this place out. See ya later."
Will- "I'm heading out, too."

Me- "Will left to have fun? That's strange. He's old."
Jerry- "Besides the whole Leader cult thing, something is really strange about this place."
Me- "I'm not kicking back and having fun. Maybe we should see this Leader."

There's a huge house on this cliff overlooking the water. We knew, instantly, it was the Leader's. It just made sense.

*walk up to guards*
Me- "Yeah, we're new here. Can we talk to the leader?"
Guard- "New? How did you get here?"
Me- "You wouldn't believe us. In fact, I still have trouble on that part."
Guard- "Run it past me."
Me- "Well... Chuck Norris threw us from England."
Guard- "Chuck Norris?" *whispers to other guard* "Come with us."

A super tan stereotypical surfer guy was sitting on a beach chair overlooking the water. One of the guards walked up to him and whispered to him.

Me- *whispering to Jerry* "We have to look like we know something they don't, too."
Jerry- *whispering back* "That's a good plan."
Me- "What do you think they're saying?"
Jerry- "Kill them, they're pale!"
*laugh*

We looked up to see this Leader walking towards us.

Leader- "Hello, I'm Emperor Uriel Septim VII, but most people call me Leader. What problem do you two have?"
Me- *leans over again* "Morrowind. The odds of that being his real name are like none."
Jerry- "Ok, I didn't know that."
Me- "Um, yeah, we need to get off Utoptica and get back to the rest of the world."
Leader- "That angers me. Why would you want to leave?"
Me- "Sorry. The sun. I hate it. And we're sort of on a mission."
Leader- "What do you have against Mother Sun? She is the creator of all life! You must appreciate her, now!"
Me- **
Leader- *laughing* "Aw, man, you guys should have seen the looks on your faces! I'm Allen." *extends hand* "You guys really need to loosen up some!"
*me and Jerry exchange glances*
Jerry- *shakes hand* "Yeah, sorry. A lot of strange shit has happened lately, we're not too sure about people."
Allen- "Nah, that's cool. So you guys don't like it here, eh?"
Jerry- "No, it's a nice place and all, it's just not us."
Allen- "Yeah, I can understand that. So, what do you want me to do?"
Me- "Well, like we said, we'd sort of like to get back to the States or somewhere."
Allen- *thinks* "I can't do that right now. But until then, I think I've got a good place for you guys where you don't have to deal with the sun or any of that."
Me- "Thanks. How long is it going to be? Is there anything we can help you on to speed it up?"
Allen- "Ah, it shouldn't be that long. Maybe a day, tops."

Well, that's all you're getting today. Sorry for the relative shortness, but it was a busy day. I lost a lot of time to GOLB, you know.

No pics either. Sorry. Maybe tomorrow.

SarieInChains:

I demand pictures..you can't leave me hangin'

she's just avoiding drawing GOLB in all his glory. 

What, no swords?  Damn!      Hey, old people have fun, too! 

"so I just rolled over and put my arm around Jerry and fell back asleep."

roflmao!!!!!

That's good stuff.

I'm sorry about the pictures! See, I've got like 4 or 5 reports due, one's tomorrow (guess how far I am ), and I've ended up being busy lately... I'll work in the background, or maybe tomorrow'll be catch up day for pictures... Some nice hand drawn stuff from study hall... I don't know... Today's could be a lot better, it's just setting up, so I should be able to rock tomorrow's with this base... 

Day 12 (Tuesday)

Me- "So... Shouldn't we try to find Mike and Will?"
Jerry- "Yeah, probably... But it's pretty cool here, you have to admit."

Under Allen's hut, there was a huge basement area, all a natural cavern. So there was a bunch of cool crap growing inside it and all. It had a few beds in one section, you know, that sort of thing, decked out like a house. Could have been cleaned better, though, like, you know how if you were to say to a teenager "Ok, I need this shelf with stuff on it cleaned," if they didn't say "Yeah, so?" or hold up their middle finger, and they actually did it, they wouldn't pick the stuff up, but they'd just clean around it? It was sort of like that. So however cool, hanging out in there could have been higher on the list of things I wanted to do.

We finally found Mike swimming out in the ocean.

Me- "Hey, get your ass over here, Mike! We're getting out of here!"
Mike- "No."
Jerry- "What?"
Mike- "You guys go on and save the world. I'll stay here in the sun."
Jerry- "We're not kidding, man. Come on."
Mike- "Relax, have fun..."
*swims away*
Me- "What the hell?"
Jerry- "I knew there was something funny going on here. We'll try Will, but I think we already know what'll happen."

Will- "No way. You've dragged me through all these hellish places, now it's my turn to pick."
Me- "But this isn't doing anything for our quest."
Will- "I'm relaxing. I'm in Alice in Chains, too, I think my happiness is important to you."
Me- "When you're gonna be like this, no! Get off your lazy ass and come with us!"
Will- "Just relax and let this place take you away..."
*closes eyes*

Jerry- "Shit. So, what do we do?"
Me- "I think it's pretty obvious what we have to-"
Allen- *comes downstairs* "So, did you two find your friends?"
Me- "Yeah. We did. They'll be staying outside."
Allen- "Well, a lot of people do like being outside. Come on, let me give you two a tour."
Me- "Can it wait? We're still getting settled."
Allen- "I insist."

Me- *via the Force* "Jerry, I don't like this Allen. Something's up with him."
*Allen stops for a second, then continues walking*
Jerry- "So, where are we going?"
Allen- "We're just going to check the place out. You guys should really appreciate Utoptica."
Me- *Force* "Here we go with the stupid name again."
*come to game of sand volleyball*
Allen- "Hey, guys, come here! There's some people I'd like you to meet!" *turns to us* "These are the guys who helped start Utoptica."
Me- *Force* "We should kill them for making this hell!"
Jerry- "Nice to meet you guys."
Me- "Yeah, same here. I like what you did. Isn't Antarctica supposed to be, like, you know, cold and all?"
Creator- "Ah, you foolish outlanders... We lead people to believe it is, and anyone who breaks our laws is sent back to the mainlands to tell of here. We know that they'll follow our story of the icy place because they can come back later if they do."
Me- "Yeah..." *Force* "I'm telling you, we should kill one, they'll send us back!"
Jerry- "So, how's that work? Is it like one strike, you're off, or what?"
Allen- "It depends on what you do. Steal or something minor, you're not gonna get kicked off. But, say you murder someone, you're gone."
Me- *Force* "They're practically asking us, Jer!"
Jerry- *hits pocket of cut off cargo jeans he'd been wearing since 1990* "That's interesting. Is there no penalty for the small stuff, or...?"
Me- *Force* "What the hell is wrong with you? How do you not carry a knife around?!"
Allen- "It really just depends on who it is."
Jerry- *itches forehead with middle finger* "That seems sort of unfair. Don't you have some kind of constitution here?"
Creator- "The people here don't break the laws. We are a utopian society."
Me- "Question totally avoided. He asked about solid laws. Do you guys have any?"
Allen- *glances at watch* "Well, we should probably move on, we've got some other stuff for you to see."
Me- *Force* "And avoided again. Yay."

Allen- *stops at ruins* "This is the first building to be built in Utoptica."
Jerry- "What happened?"
Allen- "It was destroyed."
Me- *Force* "Wow, I couldn't tell."
Jerry- "How?"
Allen- "Oh, that's not important."
Me- "Really? Can we go inside and look at it?"
Allen- "I'm sorry, but one of the first rules of Utoptica is, don't go near the ruins."
Me- "Why?"
Allen- *quietly* "Oh, you'll see..."
Me- "What?"
Allen- "Aw man you guys are so easy to screw with! It got hit with a meteor, since there's an element that attracts them to that spot. It's really not safe to walk on. Gets hit pretty often. We wouldn't want people to get hurt here, you know."
Me- *Force* "Doubt it. In fact, I'm pretty sure that's flat out impossible. Want to check it out later?"
Jerry- *nods slightly* "Yeah, that would be bad."

Allen- *stops at building* "This is the torture chamber. Something has to happen to everyone who steals and does minor offenses. And the emos, we must destroy them. There is no room for emos in a utopian society."
Me- *Force* "Mein Führer! ... He's gotta be screwing on this one."
Jerry- *trying not to laugh* "I think I'm catching on. You're just messing with us, right?"
Allen- "Finally." *scream comes from building* "This is actually the hospital. Our shipment of morphine was late this month, and that, that was Jim, great guy, he broke his arm pretty badly, and they had to set it now or it'd be messed up forever. Let's move on."

Allen- *stops back at his place* "Well, it was cool to hang out with you two. But conversation, damn, you guys are boring as hell."
Me- *Force* "You're not exactly John Oliver yourself."
Allen- "Oh, just curious, you ever see Star Wars? You know how Luke feels a planet being destroyed? Disturbance in the Force and all? It leads me to believe that the Force is about as private as shouting across an alley full of people with the Force."
Me- "Hmm, where did that come from?"
Allen- "Just saying, it's a good movie."

*back in underground sun-less area*
Me- "Well, someone's hiding something. And it apparently isn't me."
Jerry- "Yeah. Something's going on here, I can tell."
Me- "You ever read The Case of the African Grey or whatever it's called on David Wong's site?"
Jerry- "I don't think so, I haven't just went off running stuff on your computer. You're sort of protective of it, especially the touchpad, remember?"
Me- "Oh, yeah... You need to read it, because I'm seeing a parallel. Like, how this is going to turn out, this particular section in Utoptica. I was sort of going to make a reference, and call it foreshadowing, but I guess it'd sort of be lost on you."
Jerry- "Why did that come up? Why that, out of so many other choices?"
Me- "Well, Wong did a great job of it. Really, truly, awesome. Besides, I'm starting to relate to him a little, this isn't exactly John Dies at the End, but it's not exactly PL's blog either."
Jerry- "Ouch. Kind of low."
Me- "So, we gonna double check everywhere he showed us?"
Jerry- "Yeah, let's kill some time discussing economics, then once it gets dark, we'll go."

I've been pretty busy lately, guys, sorry. No pics either. I feel bad. Maybe this weekend you guys'll finally get a good one out of me...

thenegativecreep:

Allen- "Oh, just curious, you ever see Star Wars? You know how Luke feels a planet being destroyed? Disturbance in the Force and all? It leads me to believe that the Force is about as private as shouting across an alley full of people with the Force."

nice 

thenegativecreep:

And the emos, we must destroy them. There is no room for emos in a utopian society.

bahahahahahaha

Day 13 (Wednesday)

It seems a waste to use all of day 13 for pictures. You know, it's day 13. Something eventful must happen. Or maybe not. We'll see.

I know everyone wants to see GOLB. There you go. Like 2 seconds before his death. In pale scrawny kid realm.

Us discussing economics. You didn't think that was like, code for something, did you? Aw, man, you guys are gonna be disappointed seeing this, then.

That's me and Jerry. And my wonderful dream. Wow, if only you were me, you wouldn't be so old, and you'd get to hang with Jerry... Or be strangling him, depends on how hard you squint at it. Stop, and you'll see me trying to kill him in his sleep

Map of the Earth in my eyes. I only showed two of it's 17 dimensions for you mortals, you can't comprehend the true shape of the world.

Jerry- "So the dollar's that weak? Why haven't we switched yet?!"
Me- "I don't know, we all can see the Moolah's better. Whatever."
Jerry- "Too bad he's not really getting rid of the emos... Hey, want to explore down here a little and discuss books we've read?"
Me- "Sure."
*start walking into deep part of cavern*
Jerry- "Myself, I'm pretty fond of Hemingway's For Whom the Bell Tolls."
Me- "Yeah, me too! I was stunned at how great it was."
Jerry- "And Metallica did a wonderful job, I think, of describing Sordo's death."
Me- "Yeah, I was shocked at how much justice it did that part. The end was sad, though."
Jerry- "Yeah, I know."
Me- "1984 was another really good classic book."
Jerry- "Yeah! It's scary how much of it you can see in present day."
Me- "Yeah."
Jerry- "I'm a big fan of Douglas Preston's The Codec."
Me- "That has to be one of the greatest books of all time."
Jerry- "Preston, and especially together with Lincoln Child, they're just literary gods."
*really far away from start now*
Me- "So, you ever read The Descent by Jeff Long?"
Jerry- "No, tell me about it."
Me- "Well, it's pretty cool. These people go into the depths of the Earth, there's this system of caves underground and all, so everyone's going down there, but it turns out that there's these things down there, these Hadals, that do some pretty sick stuff."
Jerry- "Wow, it sounds like a good book."
Me- "Yeah. Those Hadals, they were pretty big on torture type stuff. Like this one guy, they peeled all the skin off his back, and tattooed him like a butterfly, since he fell down one of the holes trying to catch some, and they were down there with him."
Jerry- "Cool."
Me- "And human flesh was pretty much everyone's diet at some point in the book."
Jerry- "Sweet! And did their going down there cause any other problems?"
Me- "Oh, yeah, the world's militaries were all down there, but they were pretty much getting owned. Then the Hadals started coming up, I think this was the second book, and stealing children and all."
Jerry- "I'll have to read them. So, why is this book coming up all of a sudden?"
Me- "Ah, no reason. It's by far one of my favorites."
*hear sound*
Me- "That seems way creepier than it should, talking about this book and all. Let's discuss a more positive book now."
*Allen jumps out*
Allen- "Aw man I got you guys! I love that book, for the record."
Me- "What the hell are you doing down here?"
Allen- "The cavern's a loop, I came down to see you guys. Then I started hearing you talking about the book, and it was like, eh, what the hell, maybe they'll give me a good reaction this time."
Jerry- "Yeah... Well, what did you want?"
Allen- "Just letting you guys know, we've got the jet working again. Go get your friends, you can leave whenever."
Me- "What? Really?"
Allen- "Yeah. I really don't blame you, there's a lot of messed up people here on Utoptica. Whatever. I already told your friends, they're waiting for you at the jet."
Jerry- "You're serious?"
Allen- "How many times are you going to ask? What do you guys think this place is, some kind of freaky cult place?"
Me- "Well..."
Allen- "What would make you think that?!"
Me- "You have to admit, looking at it from an outside view..."
Allen- "I don't know, something's wrong with you two. Probably not enough sun. Come on, you guys wanted to leave so bad, let's go."

So we just left Utoptica. No problems. Kind of felt like asses. But whatever.

Pilot- "So, where do you guys want to go?"
Me- *starts to talk*
Will- "No. You're like a total idiot today. It's not up to you."
Mike- "Yeah. The two of you are really good at making things up. So there was one freak when we landed. Big deal."
Will- "But no, there's this huge conspiracy going on, Allen's evil, he's leading this cult, he has the Force... Come on! Are you guys really that stupid?!"
Mike- "As I was laying back and relaxing, as most people do on vacation if their IQ is represented by a positive integer, it became pretty clear where we need to go."
Will- "Russia, right?"
Mike- "Exactly."
Jerry- "Huh?"
Mike- "I'm not even explaining it to you."
Will- "It'll go in one ear, then go through your thick skull, which interferes with the waves until what we say will be like 'The Canadian Gangsters will recruit their Russian friends to kill us!' or something equally dumb."
Mike- "Yeah."
Jerry- "But... Utoptica?"
Will- "Name of the damn resort, genius."
Me- "And... The ruins?"
Mike- "I feel like I'm talking to a bunch of toddlers! It burnt down, it's structurally unsafe!"
Me- "But... Their evasiveness?"
Mike- "Just messing with you! You of all people should understand! You're always yelling at people about how you're being sarcastic and how they need to just understand when! You failed at it!"
Me- "Something's wrong here. I'm never wrong. This must be-"

And then I woke up. I was in the backseat of the car, which was still flying in the air.

Me- "Dude, I just had the strangest dream..."
Mike- "You were tall?"
*all laugh*
Me- "No, asshole, we went to Anarctica, but it was warm, and it was like all cult-like, but it really wasn't, and..."
Super Pikle- "That happened."
Me- "What? Wait, this is messed up again, I'd never use such a lame literary thing as-"

And then I woke up.

Me- "Ok, you would NOT believe this dream I had. And it wasn't that I was tall."
Mike- "Aw, you beat my first reaction. Give me like 5 seconds to think up something new."
Me- "We went to this resort place in Anarctica, except it was called Utoptica, and it was all warm there, and me and Jerry thought there was this huge conspiracy thing going on, and I had a pretty screwed up dream there, but then it turned out the whole thing was a dream, since I was wrong about something and that's impossible, but it wasn't, and then I woke up, and Super Pikle..."
Will- "Dude. When you use the Force too much, you have some pretty messed up dreams, eh?"
Me- "Huh?"
Will- "You held Jerry up to kill RoboBaldy, but when he finally finished him off, you passed out."
Me- "It was that long?! But Chuck Norris finished him, and then... GOLB, and Dylan... And..."
Will- *touches forehead* "Are you feeling ok?"
Me- "Yeah, yeah... So... Where are we now?"
Will- "Chuck threw us to Russia, where we need to go next."
Me- "Ok. So we're in the car?"
Will- "Are you sure you're feeling ok?"
Me- "Yeah, grandpa, cut it out. I'm fine. Just... Hmm..." *go to sit up*
Jerry- "Hey, careful, my sword's out! Let me move it so there's room back here."
Me- "Oh, that reminds me, I got a spam email that had the title "Enlarge Your Sword" or something like that last night. Did that happen?"
Will- "Yeah, it did."
Me- "Cool. My writing is becoming popular already."
Will- "Really? That's really what you think that email means?"
Me- "Yeah, why not? Why else would I be on a list for enlarging swords? It was probably fan mail, actually, like "Hey, love the semi-book you've got going!" In fact, I might just open my fan mail tonight."
Will- "You do that."

I figure that was the best way to wrap up two straight days of suckiness. With a third that makes it like it never happened. Bad things come in threes. Hopefully, tomorrow's will pwn. Or you'll have 6 days of bad updates. Or possibly 9. Or 12. That would suck.