3/13/08

 

It's halfway through spring break,today was a horrible day.I first got into the shower,only halfway through it...I became really dizzy,and planned to get sit down on the toilet.But as soon as I got out,I crash landed with the floor,blacking out for possibly a minute.(I know this since I shower with music on) I was listening to Dirt at the time,and felt,"Fuck,not again." And,"I thought it would've been longer." Back in December,the same happened to me,but I wasn't in the shower,I was merely standing up,about to leave the bathroom when it happened.But then I was terribly sick.Now,I was drained from the heat of the shower,(possibly 80 degree water) and the fact I hadn't eaten yet.

Now,I wake up,and my sister is standing in the doorway,with my mom rushing in to pick me up.Trying to be funny,my sister,Shadara,says"How did the books get on you?"  (In our bathroom,we have a rack for magazines and books to read while doing buisness) the joke backfired,and ended up sounding rash.Very rash.My Dad walks in,asking what happened,but walks out the bathroom since I was naked."Nothing to be embarassed about,I bet you've seen mommy naked a bunch." Was all I could think to my self.I was a bit delusional I guess,but just wanted to rest.

So I'm told to lay in my bed,and get dressed.My mom,and siblings were planning to go out while my Dad stayed at home and studied.I was apalled that they wanted me to get dressed after what happened.Outside of my room,I heard Mom and dad talking about what just happened.but something really struck my nerves,they thought I was starving myself. For god's sake!I just got into the shower!I have been eating!What the hell man?

So they come in,and ask me if I had been,and after all I had been saying,they still had some kind doubt that I was.Oh well....Now I have a horrible head ache,and all I want to do is hug Kearin.I hate spring break.

-Mariah-

---

hey FLM!  plz bug your folks till they take you to the dr.  it could be something really simple.  then you might not have that happening anymore.  hope the rest of your spring break gets better.  it's not over yet!

---

^ qwning sig by creep!

Thanks. :]

3/14/08

 Today was just like tuesday and monday,woke up and played Elder scrolls.There's nothing I can really do here,most of my friends live off base,or really far away,and most are older than me.So they're possibly working right now.Oh well,that's down side of having older friends.

While I was playing the 360,my Dad wouldn't stop bugging me.Everytime I came to a monster of some kind on the game,he's always ask me dumb ass obvious stuff like,"What's health?" When it's very obvious that the health of the enemy was right in front you. >:[ I hate when people bug me while I'm doing something strenuous on a game.My sister doesn't understand,we agree a lot on things,but not on games.

 I've been dragged to going places that I don't want to all week,and I just hate it.Tommorrow my mom wants me to go the shore store with her and my sister because she thought there were shoes I would like that would be there.(That was a mouthful) But in reality,she's been nothing but wrong...or most of the time that is.I'm not saying that I totally hate her,but I really dis-like her.I'm 100% on this.My dad thinks that I fight with her because,"you're going through that teen phase right now". But how can I really like someone that's always mean to me no matter how hard I try being nice to her? I just don't get it.I even tried multiple time to get on a good foot with her,but she obviously doesn't see it.And when she tries being nice to me,I know that she doesn't even want to be,she's just being pushed to do so by my dad.It doesn't help either that she's pushing her religous thoughts on me,along with her stupid karma.I guess karma's real,but the way she always talks about it makes me sick. For now,I have no idea as to what to do with  her except avoid her.

I'm normally at home during week-ends,and I thought that those were bad,but this break gets worse and worse.Can't wait to go back to school.

-Mariah-

---

Mariah, you are so young to have this outlook on life!  I'm sure your parents are, in their own bungling way just trying to connect with you as they see you unhappy.  I do vaguely remember what it was like to be a teenager, and I have a 13 yr old boy.  Try to see the good in things, and it will cheer you up.  You have to look for the good things and keep a positive attitude.  Make some changes if you have to,  And please go to a dr, you may just have anemia or something.  Sorry for my old lady preaching, but you just sound so sad!  Have a good one!  Chris

---

Thatnks chris...myabe I should go to a doctor...They scare me though,but to get healthy,that's what I should have in mind.

3/15/08

I've lost track of what day it is,I know that it's only the fifteenth because the computer says so.I still have an essay to write down,but that won't be a problem.Oooh...it's that time of month again..the pain! heh,I hope that it'll all be over by the time it's Monday.They usually last about four days.So I guess I'm lucky,but the pain is still horrible. >.<

 Yesterday,I went to Fred Meyer's with my mom,sisters,and younger brother.I was happy to go,and was hoping to see someone I knew.Even if it wasn't the one I was hoping to really see(aka Patrick,he's my bestest bud.)We went there to pick up some deordorent for my underarms,turns out that mine are very sensitive to whatever was in the one I was currently using.As a young one,I had exzema on my tummy,but this deo made it come back,just in a different spot.The new kind really works,and I just really hope this is over.

Then it hit me,I have no absolute thought on my mom.Well,I do,but it's hard to explain.Or not,she has two sides to her,the kind that's real,nice,and not commercial for other people.Then there's the fake,silicone,front that's seen by most others.At Fred Meyer's,she was showing her compassionate side,the one that's barely ever seen by me.After we picked up the deo,she let us pick up some candy,(I chose Mike n' Ikes,even though I also wanted chocolate.Thank you period.)and then we looked at some clothes.Which to my luck,really,I mean this in the best way possible,my sisters and I were able to get some.(My brother just wanted to leave when it came to him.)So I got a few shirts and capris,and my younger sisters goth thier girly things.But my youngest sister had to go to the bathroom at one point,so my mom let me pick out some clothes myself while they left to find the bathroom.

I ventured out into the empty clearence isle,this was one of the few that I had ever seen that had really bad clothes.Oh well,not everyone has bad fashion sense I guess. :] My pants were loose on my waist so looked for a belt,found some,but most were small.(Because most people are my size,and by the time I finally get to a store,most of the things my size are usually gone.)So I tried a large belt,did I mention that I had my zune with me?Playing music in one ear,a small,"oh man." escaped my mouth as it was so close to fitting,but didn't.There was just a small 3 centimeters or so off! But then I heard someone,they were soming my way,but I wasn't sure if they were planning to come talk to me.Who knows,maybe it was just a loud person inside the store!

But he came closer to me,and I saw my buddy James.I felt so great to know it was him,and that I was right to see someone I knew at the store.We talked about Spring break,he said he had been working for most of it,I told him that I had been at home...and about the situation with the bathroom a few days ago.He laughed at first,and gave me a hug.He's cuddly like that,I'd imagine him to be some kind of kitten or Lion cub if he were an animal.

Soon after,we said later,and I found my family.We checked out,and my god,the cashier couldn't have been any slower.I saw a TV showing the security camera and told my sister,Shadara,"Hey,want to show our moves in front of the camera?" With us being the fools we are in a store,together that is,we danced...whiched consisted of flapping our arms and doing crazy stunts like that.

And that was yesterday.Can't really say anything else about today,except that my dad went to get dinner.

Two more days until school!

-Mariah-

---

3/16/08

Oooh,the days has gone by so fast,right now,it's 7:16,and my butt really hurts from sitting down all day on the hard floor.My mom has been working on my hair(or had been) giving me extensions.I wonder how people are going to react to it tommorrow.Oh well,I don't really care.I just want all the attention and touching my head to stop.It hurts,mostly from braiding it.For some reason,I seem to be the only one that feels pain when I get it braided. I should try to get a few pics of myself,and then find some way to get them on the internet. I feel happy,especially since I  got my essay done.Oddly,I thought it would've taken more time to write,but then,I should know better,it doesn't take long for me to finish work.

Good wishes for everyone!

-Mariah-

---

Sorry I didn't post anything yesterday,took a giant nap.

 

Yesterday: Finally got a boyfriend, :]

 

Today,3/18/08:

I feel reaally,bad,I like my boyfriend,but.....I love someone else. It just makes me sad since my BF is a great guy,and the one I love seems unataneable. Odd thing was,I told him I loved him today,for the first time ever,and he said he had already known,that I told him before.I'm sure I didn't though.

-Mariah- 

---

3/19/08

I told him I loved the other guy.I guess I'm really lucky.He wasn't mad,sad,just happy with the fact that I had told him and that I'm his.That's a keeper. :]

 

-Mariah-

---

3/26/08

 

oooow,my hand hurts,too much writing lately.Well,I broke up with him,he wanted to be single. :[

That's ok though,I'm sure that there's someone out there waiting for me.

Lately thought I've writing a lot of stories and and drawing plenty of pictures,I've also been studying plenty too.I want to graduate early,but er,I still need some time off.

Last week,my best friend was...discombobulated because she found out that she's bisexual,I have nothing wrong with it,but she's just getting on my nerves with the fact that she keeps bringing it up.

It's been nice and sunny lately,maybe should go outside and do something,maybe walk to the store,or walk around the block,hopefully the sidewalks are clear.Not all of the ice has melted yet.

Did I mention that it's just complicated to get to the computer,at all?Well,I can't go to the Alice boards or any forum on my Dad's laptop because he thinks that the sites will give the laptop a virus.(er...right..>.>)And our family compy is close to death,making really loud noises,and my mom always asking me why I'm on the computer,with that one.(Even though I remember my father saying we could go onto the internet with that computer.) Ah well,I'm sure that this'll be cleared out by next year at most,even though it shouldn't take that long.

Damn these older friends,they can really leave me out of things at times.

-Mariah-

---

3/28/08

 Yesteray I got my verrry late Christmas present from Pat.He's a great friend of mine,we've known each other since October.

So I Thursday,I was at his locker,talking to him,and he pulled out his giant bag of skittles,I immediately knew that it was my present,but,my god!I had no idea that it would be one of the huge bags!

Nothing has really happened today,just another great sunny day.

-Mariah-

---

4/2/08

 

I'm sick,nothing too it.I slept for a total of 12 hours,and well...I'm still sick.

 

-Mariah- 

---

It's no fun being sick, is it?  Get some rest and hope you feel better soon.

---

If I could, would you?

4/11/08

 ooh,well,It seems that my best friend has taken an interest in me.But that's ok,I've taken one in him too. :]

I've been given the opportunity to graduate early,and take classes for that.While the idea is a great one,I don't really know what to do....should I miss out on my high school experience?But graduate early and go to college at 3 years younger than the  normal age?Or should I go all four years?(Or three,I'm also planning to take classes to get extra credits,so more are accepted when I move.)

Oh...the possiblites....I just don't know...:[

-Mariah-

---

Oh, Mariah..... don't try to grow up too soon (I don't mean that in a condescending way!)... your high school years are irreplaceable and you will feel alienated at college, being younger than your peers.

Congratulations, though!  You must be really smart.  Just knowing you could do that has to be a really good feeling.  

You'll make the best decision for you!    Good luck!

 

---

"We play so fine, don't you agree?" ~ Layne Staley

"We want to celebrate what we did and the memory of our friend." ~ Jerry Cantrell

:] Thanks Punky.

 

4/12/08

I have come to a conclusion.If I'm going to graduate early,it'll be when I'm a Junior,I'd rather have it that way.Speaking of school,I've been so stressed over work in my English class.I have to read a 600 page book,take notes,do a latin root poster,and study 120 latin roots...it ain't easy being green.But for my Latin root poster,with my word being persona,(er...root) I'm planning to use a few AIC pictures. Pretty poster? Yes. Crazy fan? Maybe...

 

-Mariah-

---