And yet again life has thrown a curve ball my family's way...
Sorry about not getting your song completed yet ManDirtExcuses... But my family is being torn apart by illnesses.
Since October last year, my father has had a heart attack, found out he has lung cancer, had part of his lung removed, and gone through torturous amounts of radiation, and chemo treatments...
My mom has been found to have a tumor on her stomach that if removed will take over half her stomach with it...
But my brothers baby girl has gone through numerous testing since her birth in November, to find out what has been ailing her. We have waited in frustration at what the doctors couldn't figure out. Other than the fact that she has a hole in her heart, she is 6 months old and is the weight of a 2 month old. Her development/growth has been slow, and until last week... no idea was known as to the true cause of her problems.
Turns out I think it was better not knowing what it was...
She has a disease called spinal muscular atrophy. In infants, it is usually type I, and is fatal.
So with that said, and before I lose my sanity again...
A new song dedicated to her...
She makes me smile
Another
melancholy moment
I’m trapped
against my will
The sky
lifeless and gray
Happiness
unfulfilled
Another
melancholy thought
Everything
seems so dismal
Colors seem
washed away
I’m broken
hearted, miserable
Contemplation
brings a smile
I ache from
the sadness
A thought
of her makes me smile
At her
unknowing innocence
Maybe I’m
biased
Maybe I’m
not thinking straight
Still it
seems to be so wrong
That she
may have less time on this earth than I
Another
melancholy day
Despondency
reigns
I feel my
will has been taken away
And my
strength has been drained
Consideration
of how perfect she is
Of how
short her time may be
A thought
of her makes me smile
I wish I
was as innocent as she
I look to
the heavens, for the clouds to break
For something
that might soothe the pain
Anything that
might dull the ache
That
resides inside my broken heart
Contemplation
brings a smile
At her
unknowing innocence
A thought
of her makes me smile
And it
makes me ache
I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.